It’s a term we hear often but may seem more like an idea than our reality. This idea of inner peace might conjure the image of monks sitting in a cave somewhere. Let’s be honest- peace isn’t about escaping our lives; it’s about learning to live it differently. To tap into our own inner peace, we need to know what it is and how we access it.
We live in a busy world that is selling the idea of peace but it isn’t showing you that you already have it within you.
For starters, let’s explore what inner peace is and what it isn’t.
It does not mean that your life is calm and zen 24/7. It means you know how to experience intense emotions, stress, and challenges and still be able to access a sense of peace without becoming completely overwhelmed. My definition of inner peace is when your mind is calm, content, and at ease. The absence of inner conflict.
I’m fully aware that it is not as simple as it sounds, but it is worth the challenge for your own personal growth. It so much harder to live a life that is overwhelming, chaotic, and full of stress. It’s much easier to learn how to tap into this peace within you.
For years, I thought that if I finished my degree, I would be happy. If I finished this course, I would feel better. If we bought a house, then we would be good. On and on it went until it finally hit me. This feeling I was actually looking for was inner peace.
The problem was that I was looking for this feeling outside of myself. It was a never-ending cycle. Once I realized that this feeling was not going to be out there somewhere, I immediately began my journey to figure out how to find it within myself.
Once I finally tapped into this feeling of peace- it has forever changed how I approach life. It has allowed me to heal beyond any trauma that I have experienced and stretched me out of my comfort zone. The path to inner peace leads to emotional resilience and the self-awareness to manage life’s challenges, but before we get there, we must see what is getting in our way.
The Biggest Barriers to Inner Peace
Although the list here could be rather extensive, these are the pain points I see most often in my practice.
Mental Clutter- The mind is said to have thousands and thousands of thoughts per day, and when these go unmanaged, you’ll have a mixture or all of these: overwhelm, overthinking, stress, negative thoughts, anxiety, irritability, reactivity, etc. Unmanaged thoughts create inner conflict.
Society’s Expectations- We live in a time where we want to be the best version of ourselves, but we also have a million things to get done. Society tells us that we need to do this or that to be happy and successful. This idea that our happiness and peace are outside of us. Oftentimes, this can leave us feeling less than adequate and unfulfilled.
Trauma & Triggers- We are all a sum of all the experiences we have lived through. As a result it has shaped our beliefs and behaviors. And as we live life we experience moments or situations they may trigger us. Triggers may feel light set-backs, but they are more like clues. These triggers provide you information that can help you on your healing journey.
Relationships- Being human means that you have been and are surrounded by all kinds of relationships, including relationships with your spouse, children, parents, and coworkers. One of the major impacts of relationships is the lack of boundaries. Boundaries can impact us in subtle or significant ways.
Pause for Reflection: Which of these feels most true for you right now?
How to Cultivate Inner Peace Daily
The first step is to understand that we have layers of inner dialogue within us. For most of us, we have two opposing voices in our heads: the loving voice and the not so nice negative voice. We also have our beliefs, life experiences, and trauma influencing us at all times. So, where do we begin?
- M & M: Mindfulness & Meditation: This is where you begin to practice concentrating your thoughts on an object, music, or feeling. Meditation is to focus your attention and allow any thoughts outside of it to drift away. Mindfulness is when you become hyper-focused on an object, feeling, or thought. Or you can use your five senses and concentrate on one or a few of them. For example, noticing the cold breeze or the sun touching your skin.
- Self-Awareness: I always say the first step to change is self-awareness. This is where you want to become aware of all your emotions and thoughts shifting and changing throughout the day. Start to become curious by asking yourself. Why do I feel the way that I do? Why do I believe that? Why did that trigger me? Etc.
- Self-check-in: If you ever find yourself getting in your head, stressing about something, take a few moments (with humor) and ask yourself:
- Am I in danger? Look around and more than likely the answer is no.
- Is everyone I care about okay right now? More than likely they are fine, otherwise someone would be trying to reach you right now.
- Is there a tiger in the room about to get you? Look around, but it’s not likely.
- So everything is actually fine, right? Well based on your answer, yes, I’m fine and all is well.
3. Micro-Moments of Peace: As you start to manage your mind, you’ll begin to notice pockets where everything feels calm. Everything is silenced, may be a few seconds or a few moments. This is the feeling that you want to nurture by repeating the exercises above.
A part of the path to peace is having the right exercises to support you in tapping in. The other part of this journey is dealing with your inner conflict, processing your emotions, and learning how to manage your mind. You have the power to choose peace.